Alex's People Blog

Post from People.

By:Alex McCord
Bollocks! Bollocks! And more bollocks! Okay, now that that’s out of the way, let’s discuss this week’s episode. I have a houseful of people, including my friend Molly, who are all suggesting terrible nicknames for the Salahis. I’m studiously ignoring them and writing this by myself, because nicknames are mean. More wine, please!

We began with Lynda and Ebong in the kitchen, which was very cute, although did it seem like her children were all wearing onesies? Anyway, hope she finds her dream house.

Stacie told her sorority sisters about the search for her mother and father, and it was interesting to see their reaction to Stacie’s discovery that she had a Caucasian mom and a Nigerian dad. This is one of those situations where no one should be uncomfortable, but people are, and I guess you have to consider that this birth took place more than 30 years ago when people may not have felt as free to be open about their relationships. That’s too bad, because Stacie is clearly searching for answers, and no kid should be kept in the dark about the identity of their parents.

Ted Gibson’s salon opened, and there was a little competition between the ladies for his attention. Mary did the work, Michaele got her husband to provide the wine, and Cat was hot. Lynda told Michaele that she loved her and when I heard that, I felt the humid, prickly feeling of hypocrisy creep up on me like last year’s non-dry-cleaned tweed. The girls jumped on Michaele for being a social climber, and here’s what I have to say about that: It’s not a problem for me if she and her husband wanted to use their winery for entry into the party circuit. Who cares whether they sponsor everything in order to make friends? But it’s not that simple. There are stories all over the place that they don’t pay for things, that they sneak into parties and, coupled with the shenanigans that ensued on the day of the grape stomping with the mother, the security and the fact that the winery seemed to be falling apart, it seems that they are a sham.

Again we have a scene with Michaele talking to Lynda. Why? Lynda alluded to the “old Michaele,” and I confess I’ve seen a few things online since the show started, but did she mean Missy?

Mary decided to redecorate in high gloss black, and invited Cat along. Oh GAWD, I felt sympathy for Cat this week; she was just being outspoken and British. She reminds me of a dear friend from Kensington who always offends Americans, because she just does. I don’t know how to explain it any better. Ted’s colorist Jason told his story of the Congressional Black Caucus to Mary, and I have to say I have never heard of something so insane. Who in the world sneaks into a party past a bus boy through the side door, and asks the people they invited to do the same? There’s been a lot of snark out there about my husband and me, but I can safely say we’ve never snuck into a party.
Everyone went off to the winery, and they hired a limo because they had five people — a fairly acceptable reason (at least it wasn’t white). I wondered about one thing — if the Salahis had been in litigation for two years with Tareq’s mother, how were they able to constantly provide wine for parties? Why did the barn with the Oasis logo seem to be falling apart? Why did the girls think the grapes came from the supermarket? Personally, I wouldn’t know a vine grape from a Fairway grape if it fell on me, but these gals apparently could tell. I just buy it; I don’t stomp it. Why did they need security and Dobermans at the vineyard? Why did it have to be a competition? Bollocks to that! Good for Cat for calling “BS” on the event and leaving with Jason.
Lynda finally told us what she does for extra money with the agency — she runs boot camp for men. Can I please sign Simon up for that?
Back to the winery: Everyone was being very namby-pamby and unwilling to offend. I have to say that if I’d been invited to that vineyard, I’d have been in a cab with Jason and Cat. They all laughed a lot at dinner, and Michaele admitted that she loved to be talked about. Mary capped the evening off with a spectacular face.

That’s it, and we’ll see what happens next week … Are you with me?