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Home Episode 4 – “Grape” Expectations
by stacie

This week was both serious and funny—as I share new news with old college friends (Oo-Oop to my girls!) in town for Howard University Homecoming– and spend time with new friends at Oasis, the Salahi family vineyard. Sometimes, it seems that being clueless, is better than knowing half the story; especially when you begin to sense that there is MUCH more to the story, and that much of it is being hidden or distorted. Episode 4 finds me with conflicting thoughts — emotionally, as I struggle to unlock the full mystery of my birth story– and socially, where a day trip to Oasis creates more questions than answers.

Photo: Bravo

Who am I?

A little history: Just after midnight on Valentine’s Day in 2007: Jason surprised me by showing me, for the first time in my life, the full name and picture of my birth mother. From that moment, my desire – my need to know the full story of my biological reality moved from the back burner to Top 3 on my life’s bucket list.

After months of letters, pictures, emails, all communication ends in the first (and last) phone call with my birth mother. She flatly refuses to provide a name or any info that would enable me to find my birth father. But it’s all good — I fundamentally respect my birth mother’s privacy and understand her desire (fear) to protect loved ones unaware of her self-described “secret”. I am content knowing who and where she is, with a clearer picture of my biological heritage (well, half of it anyway). I grew up an only child; now, the prospect of siblings at age 43? In Nigeria?? WOW!! I yearn to make contact…..to connect. Ironically, our communication gave me a sense of just how similar we might be—both stubborn at least. The disappointment only strengthened my resolve to get ALL the information – with or without her help.

So I decided to keep it really real during the taping —by fully sharing what was going on in my life, my mind, and my heart during this exciting, difficult, confusing period. In no way am I ashamed of being adopted—in fact, quite the opposite. I grew up thinking that I was in fact more special than most kids—because my parents actually “chose” me! As an adult, I know that my birth mother (and all women who choose to give a child up for adoption), are angels— it is a truly selfless act of love. I am eternally grateful for the chance she gave me, to belong to a wonderful family who provided all I believe she wanted for me, but could not herself provide. While I have absolutely no desire to inject myself into her daily life (think: Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner?), I am deeply affected by her firm, frank decision to keep the identity of my birth father from me. I remain hopeful that once he knows I exist, he might welcome and accept a relationship of some sort with me and my children.

Who are THEY?

On a much lighter note, we head to a grape stomp at Oasis Vineyard. All the ladies were invited—and all accepted but Lynda—who I respect for not pretending she could stomach the Salahis. Cat—was being Cat. Despite a clear disdain for the hosts she accepted their invitation, and entertained with “bitchy” comments – followed by an early exit. Is there a pattern here? A hilarious scene you didn’t see was Cat bringing store bought grapes and bottles of wine into the limo—in mocking anticipation of there not being any grapes or wine at the Vineyard. CLASSIC!! There was real debate about what we were going to see at Oasis. Cat would prove prophetic.
Jason and I were vaguely familiar with stories in the local media about a family feud over the vineyard—so we knew the winery had been defunct for a few years, and that the idea of a grape stomp at a “grape-less” vineyard seemed outrageous. It appeared that the Salahis bought grapes from the supermarket (ok let’s say farmers market) just as Cat had predicted. Unlike real wine-making grapes, the skin of the grapes was so thick, you couldn’t stomp out any juice! Regardless of my future as a grape stomper, the outdoor experience was fun. The combination of curiosity, food, drink, and fall mountain foliage still trumped skepticism. The climate in the limo on the ride out to Oasis was almost all about the Salahis, and anything but complimentary (surprise). I was completely shocked to hear Jason Baake’s reflections on the “crash” of the CBC gala. Sneaking thru the kitchen? Casing out empty seats? WHAT?!? This is all sounding CRAZY – but the fact that Tareq and Michaele traveled across an ocean and gave love to our family event – won them the benefit of our RAPIDLY increasing doubt. The mama drama that warranted a security detail was totally unexpected by everyone— this is not “Vineyard in the Hood.” What is up??

But despite the security drama, the Doberman, the dried-up vines and cob webs—Oasis Vineyards, the real estate, is gorgeous. Set against the backdrop of the Blue Ridge Mountains and Skyline Drive, with a lake and acres of vines as far as you can see, there is little doubt that Oasis was a thriving business in its “hey day.” The weather was ideal; the sunset was incredible as we sipped wine on the observation deck. Inside welcomes visitors to a large, open lodge and huge stone hearth (I have a fireplace – this was a hearth) for dinners, receptions, tastings, etc. Downstairs, you find the operational guts of the place: a huge underground, temperature controlled concrete bunker with vintage Italian imported vats, automated bottling/corking machines, and racks of wine holding hundreds of bottles. It was impressive—yet dormant. More than wine and equipment, most intriguing to me was the decades old family memorabilia on the wall: photos of Tareq as a tot riding horses and farming the land with his dad; trophies, medals, and newspaper clippings acknowledging Tareq’s polo accomplishments and the quality wines produced at Oasis. It was sad to see a place where love and family once thrived, now left to deteriorate. Jason and I chose to appreciate the positive—the scenery, the hospitality, the silly grape stomp experience; the catered dinner in the wine cellar and the Oasis wine, which had aged nicely!

No question, at this point, we are seeing “holes” in the Salahi story, and are questioning who we are dealing with. Micheale goes on the offensive with Mary (“who never talks about or judges anybody”). Can’t wait to see what comes next…..

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WHEN OPPOSITES ATTRACT
by stacie turner

Before Real Housewives of DC (unlike the other ladies and Paul), Jason and I had never met the Salahis or had any interaction with them personally or professionally. We knew nothing about them: their finances, their history, how they roll, none of that. I suppose we could have “researched” them, but who does that? We don’t.

You can probably tell by now, we love wine. So at Mary’s birthday dinner, when I discovered that the Salahis owned a winery (Oasis), and Tareq proclaimed himself as an “Ambassador” for the Virginia Wine Association, I invited them to visit Sugarleaf Vineyards, owned by our good friends Lauren and Jerry Bias. Every fall, they host friends and family for a harvest party on their 130 acre vineyard outside Charlottesville, Virginia. We take the kids down for tractor rides, great food, and for the adults – wine sippin’ all day (no driving). To be clear, all this happened WAY BEFORE the White House dinner incident – (so no, Jason and I are not that crazy). Make no mistake: Sugarleaf Vineyards (unlike the now defunct Oasis) is LEGIT. Their wine was selected and served by the White House at this year’s Governor’s Ball!

In retrospect, I wonder if the Salahis were expecting a red carpet affair at Sugarleaf, because they rolled up in a big white stretch limo, dressed to the “nines”. We, on the other hand, were chilling in jeans—after all, we’re in a vineyard in the mountains, tossing balls around with the kids and making sure they stay out of the lake. Besides looking like they were at a movie premiere, Tareq and Michaele were gracious to our friends. They brought a bottle of Oasis wine to share and really seemed to enjoy both the visit and the Sugarleaf wines.

While strolling among the vines, I mentioned that we were going to Paris in a few days and flippantly said, “you should go” (Big Ballers). Jason’s brother Adam, aka Beat Assailant (B.A.), has lived in France over 10 years where he is a hip-hop sensation (who knew the French loved rap music? It’s the biggest market after the U.S.). He was dropping his 3rd album, celebrating a hit single called “Spy” and headlining a sold-out concert at the historic Elysee Montmartre! Truth be told, I seriously didn’t think that anyone would book a trip to Paris with 72 hrs notice for a concert (except maybe to see Prince or Bono). Jason and I actually work every day (and have children to consider), so we have to plan these things in advance. Apparently, a quick jaunt to France was no biggie to the Salahis!
We did not talk to the Salahis after the vineyard visit–so imagine my surprise when we received a 7:00 am call at our hotel in Paris from Michaele —“Hi Love…we’re here”. WHAT? WOW. So I can vouch for the fact that the Salahis are spontaneous and will “jet set” for fun. And–they didn’t crash Paris. While I certainly don’t agree with their decisions (and behavior) of late, I can say that they have been nothing but nice towards Jason and me from the outset. We drank Dom Perignon on the balcony of their lavish suite (overlooking Place Vendome) and danced like fools at the concert to 5 encores!
Personally, I SO admire people like Jerry, Lauren and Adam who follow their passions, conquer their fears and go for it! Jerry Bias wanted to create great wine so he bought land and a grape vine and started his vineyard from scratch. Do you know how hard that is to do?!?! Adam/Beat Assailant — moved to Paris to pursue his music career—not knowing a soul in the business or a lick of French. Ten years later, he is a recognized name there, is fluent in French, and has produced three popular albums! What was also cool (that you didn’t see on TV)–was our family dinner in Paris at Jason’s cousin Charmaine’s flat. We had a big contingent of family and friends join us to celebrate. It was so nice to gather with my other family—even a million miles away from home.

Perhaps the atmosphere of family on that trip compelled me to share with Michaele, a journey I’ve been on for the past 9 years. It wasn’t until my parents were deceased and I had a medical need to know my birth history while pregnant, that I became curious about finding my birth parents. This led me to discover that I am bi-racial with a Nigerian father! Imagine my surprise to find out that I am AFRICAN American with a nuclear family connection to Africa — but it also opened a door and a deep desire to know my roots and heritage, not just for me but also for my children.

In sharing this story, for the first time, I saw a “different side” to Michaele. A calmer, more engaged, more down to earth side. The only catalyst I can point out to explain the difference is that she was alone (no Tareq –for the first time, ever!). So I saw a glimpse of “that girl”, originally known as “Missy”. The girl that Lynda and Mary remember (and liked) from “back in the day”. I don’t really know who the infamous Salahis are now without their media costume. We will find out together as the show progresses. Earth to Missy?…….