Alex Blogs About The RHONJ

After the premiere of DC, it’s back to NJ and then Italy for more drama. I’ve been having enough drama ironing out details for our book signing this weekend! If you’re in the Hamptons, we’re participating in Author's Night this Saturday the 14th.

This week we open with a discussion of Joe’s DWI incident. I still don’t understand what happened. It was 1am, and Joe was driving somewhere by himself. I will say that I don’t necessarily buy the explanation that he’d been sober before and started drinking afterward to calm down. Normally at 1am, people who have been out and aren’t tee-totallers have had at least one drink. If you have to call the police to report an accident, any rational person would remember that they’ll ask if you were drinking and maybe breathalyze you. It would have been better to wait until after the cops left to start mainlining scotch, after which point it would have been a more appropriate time to break down and get plastered, shake with fear over what just happened, etc. Maybe Joe was in such shock that he wasn’t rational. That scene was very uncomfortable to watch. Thank goodness no one else was in the car or in his path.

Why on earth did we need a scene with Danielle discussing Joe’s DWI with Danny? That scene did nothing for me except to make Danielle look simultaneously smug and bitter. Yuck. It’s OK for her not to appear in an episode, or maybe they could have put in some of her birth mother search. I'd rather see her fighting with Kim G. Speaking of Kim G – she’s the dog that didn’t bark this episode – will we see her again? Who knows…

Back to the rest of the family, we see everyone decide to go to Italy. Great choice; I love Italy and lived there for just over a year quite a while ago. Enjoyed seeing that Milania was named for Milano, a fabulous city though not one of the prettiest in the country. Albert is worried that this getaway won’t be relaxing. Albert, I hear you. Any field trip with any cast is guaranteed not to be relaxing. We see the clan land in Venezia and race around the city hunting for Chanel. I had to ask myself…WHY?? Go to Laura Biagotti, Fiorella, Missoni, Bruno Magli….there are so many great Italian designers who sell there, not to mention the amazing glassware nearby in Murano or the lace in Burano, both of which they could have reached by water taxi. Why Chanel? Just asking. If the gondolas make you seasick, get an espresso in one of the little cafes by the Piazza San Marco and watch people. Also, why was no one speaking Italian? My Italian sounds like a bambino con l’influenza is speaking, but it’s enough to go shopping and get the family fed – and I always just assumed the NJ gals spoke it better than I do. Maybe that will come next week with Teresa and Joe’s family – hope so, and I can’t wait to see some great sweeping village and hillside views.

Next, it’s a cruise. Note to Bravo, please please please don’t ever send the NY cast on one of those enormous cruise ships. Personally I can’t think of anything worse for a vacation. However, the NJ clan made the best of it, and took advantage of things like cooking classes and a bar on every level! Loved seeing Caroline stare the Giudice girls down, and Albert rising to the pre-Grandpa occasion. I pitied the hung-over Jacqueline, and understood how frustrated the whole table was with Milania’s birthday. They served the cake at the end, dinner had started late, the crew was running around….all that adds up to things taking longer than they should and the four year old fell asleep. They needed to wake her up for the presentation and she was not amused. Simon and I have lived this with both our boys when shooting and it makes everyone want to pull their hair out. At least all she did was scream; she didn’t start stabbing anyone’s pasta….Tee Hee.