"Real Housewives of New Jersey" should have come with a warning sticker this week: Kim Granatell will give you whiplash. First she tells Jacqueline Laurita that Teresa Giudice was out of control at the North Jersey Country Club throwdown, then she commiserates with Teresa about Danielle Staub bringing up Teresa's financial problems -- as if Teresa would ever admit to having something as crass as financial problems. And then she's by Danielle's side when Danielle presses charges against Jacqueline's daughter, Ashley Holmes. And THEN she shows up at Jacqueline's house with the freaking newspaper and tells Jacqueline that she'll stand by her side if she needs her ... but she probably won't have to because, Kim G. says, "by that time, we probably won't be friends anymore." It's a little unclear about whether she's talking about Jacqueline or Danielle. But she's probably right in either case.
Getting punchy: Danny Provenzano takes Danielle and her daughters to a boxing gym to teach her how to defend herself. She pretents she's hitting Teresa and Jacqueline. Then she's taught various self-defense moves. "It only takes one good smack to the head to make a person never walk again," Danielle says ambitiously. Meanwhile, Jacqueline comes over to Kim G.'s house. Hey, I've been there! Kim tries to tell Jacqueline that Teresa was out of control, but Jacqueline immediately defends Teresa, saying that the only time Teresa has lost her temper has been around Danielle. Kim wonders why Ashley didn't get arrested for pulling Danielle's hair, and Jacqueline says she can't condone what Ashley did.
Second chances: At the Manzo house, Al, Chris and Lauren are eating breakfast before going off to the Brownstone to work. Al tells law school reject (for lack of a nicer term) Albie that he could do some marketing work if he has time. Albie is feeling sorry for himself. But later he gets the letter from Seton Hall allowing him to apply to other schools. Yay. He tells Caroline there's a good chance he'll have to go out of state. God forbid. Al tells Caroline to get ready to deal with it.
A surprise visitor: Teresa heads over to Posche boutique, where she apologizes to Kim DePaola for making trouble at the fashion show. "If anything, I was trying to be nice," she lies (for lack of a nicer term). Kim D. says she's not upset, and the two proceed to trash Danielle. Kim G. shows up; Teresa is taken off guard. Kim, who earlier told Jacqueline that Teresa was out of line, tells Teresa that Danielle was out of line by bringing up something as personal as money woes. Then Teresa bluntly asks Kim G. why she's friends with Danielle. "I pity her," Kim G. says. In voiceover, Teresa says that the only regret she has from fight night is pushing Kim G., because she's an older woman,, "and I do respect the elderly." Ouch.
.
Whatever: Ashley tells boyfriend Derek that it's tough being home because her mother won't drop the fact that Ashley attacked Danielle. "At first I was like yeah, you know, I learned my lesson, blah blah blah, I was handling it well, but then she just keeps on bringing it up over and over again." Ah, to be 19 and lack any trace of self-awareness. In voiceover, Caroline says that Ashley was wrong, but she was doing it to protect her mother. Except her mother did not need protecting, of course. Ashley says Danielle has it out for her and wonders who she slept with to pay for her brand-new hair extensions. Derek tells her he's tired of talking about her, and that he hopes that Ashley got it out of her system. And Ashley says -- all together now -- whatever.
Movin' on up: Teresa visits Joe at his new pizzeria in Hillside, just west of Newark. I've been there too, decent slices. There's the pizzeria, plus a laundromat below some apartments, and Joe jokes that after they're tossed out of their mansion, this is where they'll be living. Ha ha, Teresa says. She explains their money problems: "I own a lot of properties in my name. Some good investments, some bad investments. The economy is bad." (And when the economy is bad, one doesn't, say, throw lavish housewarming parties -- particularly if you can't afford to furnish the house.)
Her day in court: Danielle meets Danny at the Oakland diner. She says she can't blame whole debacle on Ashley, who once looked up to her. For heaven's sake, Ashley once used Danielle's tanning room! She must have been poisoned by Jacqueline. Danielle meets with her attorneys, Darren DelSardo and Anthony Filomeno, outside Wayne municipal court. Kim G. and Danielle's other friends back up Danielle's tale of woe. Danielle claims that she heard someone say they were going to get her and that they'll kill her, which I don't recall from the footage, but quite frankly, she had enough of a case without that. Kim G. and the other friends say they just heard name calling. Ashley is charged with harassment and simple assault.
Two-faced monster: Kim G. turns up at Jacqueline's house with a copy of the Herald News with the story about Danielle's decision to press charges against Ashley. Um, why? Jacqueline rips into her for charging up to the courthouse arm-in-arm "like a busted up 'Sex and the City." Kim G. says she won't apologize for going with Danielle. Jacqueline says it's ridiculous that Danielle expects people to forgive and forget what she did 25 years ago and yet press charges against Ashley for a hair pull. "This girl has no one, and she asked me to do certain things, and I do them," Kim G. says. Jacqueline suggests that Kim G. stand by her side when she has to take Ashley court, and Kim G. agrees. "I feel like you're being two-faced," Jacqueline accuses. Kim G. agrees that she is. At least she's honest.
Best quote: "The only thing I regret about that night was pushing Kim G., because she is an older woman, and I do respect the elderly."
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment