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Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Caroline And Albie-RHONJ Talk About Learning Disabilities

Post from ParentDish.com.

Photo:Getty Images                                                                      
by Ilyssa Panitz
Caroline Manzo and her son, Albie, are opening up about Albie's learning disability. Credit: Andy Kropa, Getty Images

On "The Real Housewives of New Jersey," Caroline Manzo comes across as one don't-mess-with-me mama. But off camera, this mother of three is a big softie, especially when it comes to her children.

On an episode that first aired July 12 on Bravo, Manzo discloses something she normally doesn't talk about: her 23-year-old son Albie's learning disability, which he was diagnosed with at the age of 11.

ParentDish caught up with the mother and son duo at House Beautiful's recent Kitchen of the Year event in New York to talk about why the family chose to share something so private with the world.

ParentDish: Why did you decide to go public with Albie's disability?
Caroline Manzo: It actually wasn't my decision -- it was Albie's and I have to say I think it was really courageous to put out the message, "I am not perfect." No matter what struggles he went through, we worked together and Albie went to college.

PD: Albie, what did you do after you discovered you had this disadvantage?
Albie Manzo: I enrolled in special programs and got a lot of help in middle school, high school and at Fordham. What it taught me was I if I try really hard, I can do it.

PD: Explain to me how you worked together as a team to get to where you are now.
AM: I got a lot of extra help with my teachers and enrolled in special programs where I lived. It might take me longer and I might work three times harder than other people, but, at the end of the day, I can do it.

CM: Absolutely. Albie always wanted to go to college at Fordham and when my husband and I went to Albie's high school evaluation and the guidance counselor suggested Albie work for his dad and go to community college, I looked at my son and said, no way. It was then I taught my son to never let anyone tell you no. If you set your mind to it, you can do it and guess what? He got in.

PD: What happened after that?
CM: Then I went out and bought every text book Albie had. At the end of Albie's day, I would get on the phone with him and read the assignment with him and then have him explain to me what he got out of it. After that, I would go over his work and tell him what information he was missing or what needed to be shortened and more to the point.

PD: You invested a lot of time with him.
CM: Absolutely. Only he got the grade from college and I didn't (laughs). But that is what you do for your children. You stop at nothing to help them succeed and be who they want to be.

PD: What did this experience teach you?
CM: You need to work with them, but at the same time recognize what they have and help ignite the fire within them. I also hammered it into Albie's head -- never let anyone tell you no and that you can't do it, because you can.

PD: What do you hope to gain by talking about this subject on the program?
CM: I hope other parents will not look the other way if they find out their child has a learning disability. If you see this in your child, don't let anyone tell you "no." I think a lot of kids are passed over and waste their talents because they don't build up their self-confidence to say "I can do it." You can. Albie's guidance counselor told us Albie would never get into Fordham. Not only did he get in, but he graduated with a degree in business. Parents need to work with their children, guide them and fight hard.

PD: Now that Albie is an adult, what advice do you give him?
CM: Go out and fight the fight.

PD: As a mother, have Albie's challenges taken a toll on you?
CM: Yes. My heart breaks to see my baby in trouble. There is nothing worse than to see your child struggle and hurt. When he hurts, I hurt a million times more.

PD: So, Albie, you felt comfortable letting the cameras roll while disclosing this information?
AM: Yes. I hope it does great and shows other people that you can be a success. I want to teach people you don't have to be limited by your situation. I am not looking for sympathy. I am on this road and I hope a lot of good things come out of this.

PD: Caroline, what has the show given you in return?
CM: It showed Albie that he is not a failure and it showed him that he was not alone. After that episode aired, we were flooded with positive response from other families who have children with similar disabilities. They said we proved that even with a disability like this, there are so many wonderful opportunities out there if you apply yourself. I really thank the fans for giving us that gift because I could never give Albie the kind of feedback the fans did.

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